Stop. Ask. LISTEN: What Employees Need from Managers
- Kate Stitham
- 1 day ago
- 5 min read
Most managers walk into a conversation with an employee already knowing what they're going to do. They're going to give advice. Or make a decision. Or explain the situation. They' move into default patterns or what they think will be most helpful. The problem is that it often isn't what employee actually needed.
Step 1: Identifying a Need
It may sound obvious, but when an employee asks you for a minute of your time, they are signaling that they need something. Yet the gap between what they actually need and what the manager provides is a key factor in employee engagement.
According to Gallup's State of the Global Workforce report, U.S. employee engagement fell to it's lowest level in a decade in 2024, with only 31% of employees reporting feeling engaged. All of the key indicators identified in the report were about workplace culture and management.
58% of employees who left their jobs in the last year say their boss’s management style was the main reason they left, up from 37% in 2017. 88% cite at least one negative boss behavior (like poor communication, favoritism, or taking credit) as a reason for quitting. - Bamboo HR
The issue is rarely bad intent. Most managers want productive, independent, capable, and engaged employees. The issue is the assumption that you already know what kind of support an employee is looking for before they've told you.
The Advice Trap
There is a well-documented tendency among managers to overestimate how often employees are coming to them for direction. Research on overconfidence bias in managerial decision-making indicates that managers consistently overestimate both the reliability of their own judgment and the degree to which their involvement is needed. In practice, this means managers reach for "the answer" far more often than employees are actually asking for one.
Reflect on the last five conversations you had with a direct report. How many times did you offer your opinion, make a call, or redirect their thinking without prompting? The advice trap is seductive because it is fast, it is efficient, and it feels like "leading." But for the employee on the other side of that conversation who was actually seeking to present an idea or gain approval for a plan, an unsolicited steer can communicate that their thinking doesn't matter and that you don't have confidence in their ability to do their work.
What Employees Need from Managers
Employees come to their managers with a variety of needs. Sometimes they just want to be acknowledged. Sometimes they want information to better do their work. Sometimes they simply want the go-ahead on something they've already figured out. And sometimes, yes, they want a decision made.
This is why I developed the LISTEN model: a simple framework to help managers pause before responding and ask the most important question in any employee interaction: what do you need from me?
The LISTEN model gives managers a menu of six possible responses to bring into any conversation with an employee. Before jumping into problem-solving mode, the leader's first move is to simply ask: "What would be most helpful for you right now?"
Lean In. The employee doesn't need advice or a solution. They need presence. Active listening from managers has been shown to reduce employee stress and feelings of job insecurity, particularly during uncertain times (Penn State University). Sometimes the most powerful thing a manager can do is empathize.
Ideate. The employee wants to collaborate, explore, or brainstorm. They are not looking for the manager's answer. They want a thought partner. This mode requires the manager to set aside their own conclusions and genuinely engage in open-ended thinking alongside the employee.
Steer. The employee genuinely wants direction. They may be stuck, short on time, or navigating something outside their scope.
Test. The employee is bringing something they want honest, substantive critique or feedback. This is an invitation to engage critically, not to validate or simply approve. A good "test" response takes the employee's work seriously enough to challenge it.
Endorse. The employee has already done the thinking. They have a plan, a decision, a path forward and what they need is your confirmation to proceed. This is not a moment for the manager to redesign the solution or redirect the approach. It is a moment to offer small adjustments or simply give the OK.
Navigate. The employee needs information they don't have: background, organizational context, history, or the "why" behind something. They want to be oriented so they can continue their work.
How to Use This Framework
The LISTEN model is designed to live where it does its best work: printed out and posted somewhere visible. On the wall behind your desk. Taped inside a notebook. Pinned to a shared team board. The goal is to internalize it over time until asking "what do you need from me?" becomes natural for managers and employees learn to lead conversations in this way.
Many employees may have never been asked to be as intentional or directive in starting these types of conversations. The learning must occur in both directions. Introduce the model explicitly with your team and walk through the six categories together. Over time, employees will start arriving at your door with a clearer sense of what they need, saving everyone time and energy.
The benefits of improved communication are extensive. Some of the ways this framework can help are:
Professional Development. This type of intentional reflection and deliberate preparation before they knock on your door is a profound tool for developing autonomy, agency, and leadership in your team. Identifying patterns in employee behavior (always asking for steering or information) may help you create more explicit expectations about how they might grow.
Adjusting the Format. Part of what makes LISTEN useful is that it helps both managers and employees recognize when a different setting, method, or time would actually serve the need better. An employee who needs to Ideate needs a real block of uninterrupted time, not a two-minute hallway conversation. An employee who needs an OK on their plan may only need to submit an email for approval. Clarification makes it possible to build structures around the categories and gives teams a shared language for deciding how and when different conversations should happen.
Prioritizing Time. An open door policy is well-intentioned, but without structure it can quietly become unsustainable. Managers who are accessible to everyone at all times often find themselves absorbing a constant stream of interruptions individually reasonable, but collectively overwhelming. LISTEN offers a way to honor the spirit of an open door while building in boundaries to make it functional. When employees understand that a Steer request might be handled over email but an Ideate conversation needs a pre-scheduled hour, they become better stewards of their manager's time and better advocates for their own needs.
Download a free pdf of our framework to hang in your office:
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